Keep my Cool

So I am working really hard on not getting stressed out. I can't get stressed out. So I'm not going to get stressed out. It's going well however, better then I expected. If I don't understand something that has to deal with school I just walk away and come back to it a little later and I seem to under stand it more. I also have bee trying to find ways to make housework not attack me. My house is over run right now but that is because I have had 5 kids that are not my own here in the past 2 days and I am not use to that. What good is life if you spend it freaked out anyway? Oh the kids party went well by the way. The cakes turned out awesome and Lane loved having his own. He even got pretty mad at his grandmother (yes the one you're thinking of) when she tried to feed him with a fork. I mean why would the kid eat with a fork when he can use his hands? I think that everyone had a good time. I am really blessed with people that truly care about me and my family.

Party Time

Stuff really isn't that hard if you actually do it. I can't even count the number of times I have felt over whelmed by all the stuff I have to do that when I just sit down and do it it's much easier than I thought. Anyway, I have been busy with the kid's party this week. I love that stuff soo much. I just hope that it's going to turn out ok. Planning a party when you are as passive as me can be tricky, cuz I may not care about something but other people will and bla bla bla. I just have to stop worrying about what other people think is all. I'm looking forward to it anyway.

Pat on the back

So as of last Monday, not yesterday but the one before, Matt and I had $200 to our name. Crazy. I really didn't think that we were going to be able to make it. But we did. I am pretty impressed with ourselves. This includes Matt going to work in Fargo, and me driving to and from Grand Forks, and hour and a half away, twice. It goes to show that you can do anything if you are forced. I really don't think that my kids are happy about it. Shayla had to take snack to school that she really didn't like but hey if she's hungry she'll eat it right? My son didn't get to play at his friends house who lives a half hour away either, but we all have to make adjustments. Anyway, I am very happy with ourselves. I think I'll celebrate when Matt gets paid by taking everyone out for dinner. JK

Well, what doya know.

So I have this children's bible that we got a long time ago and never really used. It's not little kids stories but not the full blown version of the bible either. It's really great for my kid's age. Anyway, after a sermon that made me feel really guilty on Sunday I had my children shut off the t.v. and started reading it to them fully expecting retaliation. They loved it. They were so into it I had to stop because it was getting so late. I was really impressed. They asked questions about Cain and Able, the rainbow as a sign of God's promise all that stuff. I am almost ashamed of how surprised I was. So now it's going to be a daily thing until we are done with the bible. Then I don't know what we are going to do but hey I think of something.

Nice Start

So I'm pretty excited. I made the dean's list. Not a huge deal but I've never been really good at school. I was pretty happy if I didn't have to take the class again. It's also a really good start. Now that I have made it I would like to stay there the whole time I'm in nursing school. Anyway, I'm actually proud of myself which I don't day often.

yay me

Alright I almost have my life in order. Not a minute too soon. I start school again on Monday. My hope is that I will have gotten rid of enough stuff that my house will be a little better to manage. One problem is that now I have a garage full of stuff and no way to get rid of it. I guess I'll just have to wait until town clean up day when you can throw out as much stuff as you want. yay!! So I am really proud of myself. Hopefully this schedule that I have will work even after school starts.

O.K. Let me clarify something. I am fine. I am just going through a time. That's all. I'm just reflecting on things and realizing different things about my life. Good bad and both. I'm not going to jump off a bridge or anything, I just have a lot of frustration. I'm truly happy about things and how my life is. I really couldn't have pictured a better husband or children. I have great friends and family and even a wonderful chruch. I thank the Lord everyday for that.

Holes

Is there a point when a person can just be honest with themselves and realize that they will not magically change but they really have to work at it? how many times do you have to fall in the same hole and give yourself that "this time things are going to be different" speech before you realize that words don't do anything but fill your head? Ug. I really need to stop making the same mistakes over and over again before my luck runs out. Seriously.

Entitlement

I have come to the conclusion that no one is entitled to anything. If you do something for someone you have to do just because you should do it. No one has to thank you or give you credit for it. They should, but let's face it they don't have to and you can't get mad at them for something you think they should do. I don't want to hear anymore of "so and so didn't do this when I did this". If you are doing it for recognition then you are doing if for the wrong reasons and you may be just as inconciderate as they are. I don't mean so sound like I am perfect becasue I'm not. I love me some credit as much as the next person but I think it is one of many bad traits of mine. Anyway, that's my story for today, tune in next time.

Get over it

So my kids are at that age where they think that just becasue a friend was mean to them it's the end of the world. I hate that. And how do you tell them that it's not as big of a deal as it seems right now? I mean they think that they will never get over it. I know how they feel, I've been there. How can you make them see that there is a whole lot more world out there left to live and they may not even remember what happened in like ten years. It frustrates me cuz I'm scared they will base decisions on how they feel right now. Sometimes I wonder how my children have lived this long. With me as a mother. :)

A new year

Alright a new year, a new look on life. I have come to the conclusion that nothing is going to change unless I do something about it. Also I can't do anything about other people. They are going to do what they want and think what they want so I have to deal with it. I can sit here and piss and moan it's just not going to change nothing. That's the way I feel about that.